I am Uvah of Borg... has anybody got one of those electric bandaids to promote speedier healing?  I seem to have grazed my poor implant while trying to extricate it from that damned 5c wash thingy.

I am DrJBHL of Borg.... sorry, Uvah of Borg, but I'm all out of electric bandaids right now.  However, while you're here I'll give you a tetanus shot and get Nurse Roughly of Borg to scrub that wound for you.

I am Nurse Roughly of Borg.... would you pass me the steel wool, assistant nurse of Borg... oh and the bottle of teatree oil.  It might make his eyes water but it's the best antiseptic around.

Do you not ... OUCH! ... know who I am .... OUCH! Damn that stings. I am ...... OWWWWWWWW!!!! Take it easy why dontcha! I'm ... OUCH! OUCH! OWWWW!! STOP! NO! DON"T! OWWWWW ... OUCH ... you ... you .........

Oh will you shut up! Next time pay attention when you pull up your zipper starkers instead of trying to view what's going on in the stall behind you. Now hold still while I apply this new electric bandaid to your implant. There ... all better. Now go play nice and stay out of the .....

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!!

Too late.

*help*

I am Trainee Nurse of Borg... it is part of my training to take photos of various procedures for further study.... so, what I want to know, is does anybody want to buy pics of Uvah screaming blue murder while getting his implant wound cleane... er, I mean scrubbed?

I know where there is a pic of starkers of Borg getting his implant adjusted by the prettiest drone this side of the Coalsack. Too bad she admiited to being a trans-Borgal.

I am Prettiest Drone this side of the Coal Sack. (in deep baritone voice) Hiya honey. Hows the implant. Need another rub ... down?

I am Prettiest Drone this side of the coalsack of Borg.... hey Uvah, I remember you, we met in that gay bar and you performed a pole dance.  I still don't understand how you balanced on your implant on the table like that and spun around like a whirlygig?

I am Gay Bar Owner of Borg.... and he still hasn't paid me for the hole he left in the middle of the table.  In fact, I gave up on that so now I use it out in the beer garden with an umbrella sticking out of it for shade..

I am Trainee Nurse of Borg... hey Gay Bar Owner of Borg, do you think any of your customers would be interested in piccys of Uvah of Borgs implant scrub?  He says he caught it in one of those 5c implant washers, but I'll swear those look like teeth marks.

I am Infiltrator of Borg ...... This has gone on far enough. Commander Tiddlewink of Borg ... arrest those starkers and uvah imposters forthwith. We'll have none of their shenanigans whilst I, Infiltrator of Borg, am on the beat.

I am the real uvah of Borg Infiltrator of Borg and I say .......

Hold on thar uvah of Borg. I am starkers of Borg and I say .......

No no no ... I am uvah of Borg and i wuz here first .....

OH quit your whinin' uvah of Borg lest I show ye the back hand of me implant.

Yeah well starkers of Borg ... bite me!

Why you lil skalliwag ... I oughta ....

Helllllllllp! starkers of Borg gonna git me ... hellllllllllllllllllllllp!

And so ends another chapter in the annals of starkers and uvah of Borg. Stay tuned for our next installment entitled ....... Hellllllllllllp Shaunna of Borgs gonna git me ... helllllllllllllllllllllllp.

Which way did that flabbergaster of mine go this time uvah of Borg?

I cannot tell a lie. syarkers is under the porch with the curried cabbage. He says he's gonna eat all of them and make ............

KAAABOOOOOM!!!!!

And so ends yet another world due to CC pollution. Stay tuned for further ...... OWWWWW! Not so hard.

I am Illegal Substance Inspector of Borg.... oi, Uvah of Borg, have you been smoking that waccy tobaccy again?

I am Uvah of Borg... who, me?  No sir, Illegal Substance Inspector of Borg, not me of Borg.  I did bumps my head a little, maybe that explains why you thinks I smoked waccy tobbacy of Borg.  No sir, not me of Borg..... weeeeeee..............weeeeeeeeeeeeee.........whoooooopeeeeee....

I am starkers of Borg... excuse me, Illegal Substance Inspector of Borg, but you gotta excuse my friend Uvah of Borg.... it's his age, you see.  Look, come closer, So I can whisper and not embarrass the poor bloke.... yes, that's better.  It's like this you see, he's not getting any younger, and he can't afford Viagra, so he gets all excited when his implant get a mind of its own shows any sign of life other than "take me for a pee-pee"

I am Poindexter's Mum of Borg.... well if Uvah of Borg don't mind coming over to my place while Poindexter is at school and hubby is running an errand, I can help him with getting some life back into his implant.  If I can retrain my lazy fat slob of a husband of mine to take out the garbage, mow lawns and do dishes and vacuum the carpets, I can get an implant working as well.

You're a riot dude. Made my day.

Hi.....I Seely of Borg. I do stuff. I not do implants though. Them too icky poo. Bye.

I am Macadamia of Borg... Nuts, nuts who wants the nuts. I know...starkers do. He has a thing for nuts or so I'm told. First shipment free of charge for a small fee of AU$1,000,000.00 to be paid in full upon receipt of first free shipment. Have a nice day and nice doin' business with ya.

I is Public Lavatory Hygiene Provider of Borg.... hey, Seely of Borg, them implants ain't too icky poo if'n them is put in my 5c implant washer.

I are Brazil of Borg... too late with your shipment, Macadamia of Borg.... starkers of Borg has all the nuts he needs courtesy of moi... Hazel's nuts too.

I am Uvah of Borg... well I got my own back on that 5c implant washer.  I went back in there and stuck in a rotten cucumber as payback, and the bloke on the other side spat it out and said it tasted bloody awful.

I am Me of Borg ...... that bloke got more than a rotten cucumber. I laced it with Orion slave girl tears. That poor sucker's implant will stick out like a sore ... well ... you get the idea. Viagra on steroids, them tears.

I am Pharmacist of Borg... if you could get me some of those Orion slave girl tears, I am sure I could come up with a quadruple strength Viagra that'd last all weekend and possibly well into Monday morning for those who have secretaries who live alone.

Oops, flamin' double post.

Oh well, while I'm here......

I am Office Lothario of Borg... if you can come up with such a pill, Pharmacist of Borg, I'd be eternally grateful because there's 35 secretaries in my building who live alone.

I am Resurrectionist of Borg.................you have been assimilated. Eleven months, seven days, six hours and forty five minutes later and you couldn't wait huh?

I am Ponder of Borg..............Methinks you are too hasty.

I am Resurrectionist Of Borg and you Ponder of Borg are hasty. I advised waiting a full year.

I am Ponder of Borg and I got tired of waiting.

I am threadnecro of Borg, follower of others. Or perhaps thats, I am Intoxicated of Borg. Ignoring Jack Daniels is Futile!

I am Jack Daniels' brother of Borg... and I love drinking Thouthern Comfort and getting pithed.

I am Beans of Borg, and we're looking for a person with super flatulence powers. 

I am Recruiter of Borg......one of our newbies, starkers of Borg by name, will fill the bill. His powers of flatulence are unsurpassed.

I am Admin of Borg, flame throwers are in the line to the right and help yourselves to all and any

borg beans smorg. {try saying that fast 3X }

I am Weapons Master Third of Borg........saying that three times fast burnt out the recharge cubicles. Mayday.....mayday......