I am Earl of Borg, and I am crossing cabbage off my list

Preparation H of Borg.....When resistance is not just futile but painful as well.

I be Cap'n Blackbeard o" Borg...  so 'ow do 'e scuttle ships in space if'n thars no water?

I am Captain Kirk of Borg... we use Phasers and blast them out of the skies.

I be Cap'n starkers of Borg... hehe, I 'aves curried cabbage bombs fer that. 

I am Little One of Borg...hehe...no 'similate me. I are just a wee person .

I are Large One of Borg.... and I are so large it'll take several attempts to assimilate me.

I am Friendly Advisor of Borg... go get a swine flu test cos I are worried, given you've 'been' with a few pigs in your time.  

I are fat person of borg....I are so fat when I take a step I'm in a different time zone.

   "    "    "    "    "    "  ....I are so fat Barnum and Bailey don't make tents in my size.

I am IE Exploere of Obrg....Splle chkcer brkoe...brke0...rseet...rseet...oh the hlel wtih ti

Cap'n starkers is Birthday Boy of Borg.....wishing you the Happiest of Birthdays and many Happy Returns!!!!

I be Cap'n starkers o' Borg.... I be fankin' 'e Doc, frum tha bott'm o' me briny seadog's 'eart.

Sorry us can't be invitin' ye ter paarty... mrs starkers thort tha booty 'd best be spent on Botox t' smoove out tha wrinkles.

Pers'nally, I'd grow me hair n' pull it back all tight like inta a ponytail.

I be Recipient of Borg....All gifts in the bag to the left. The blue one with the red trim and a hole in the bottom. Assimilations will commence when B'Day boy Starkers removes the curried cabbage. Implants and curried cabbage are a bad mix.

I are Quality Control of Borg.... after careful analysis of curried cabbage, I have declared it to be perfectly safe.  I do, however, recommend that persons in the vicinity of persons who consume it either learn to hold their breath or purchase a gas mask.

I am Meteorologist of Borg....Extreme weather alert. High winds of the brown type. All persons are to stay indoors with A/C on high. Risk of terrible flatulence is expected. More at 00:01 GMT.

I am Pollution Control of Borg... while other agencies are issuing warnings about curried cabbage barks causing hazardous flatulence clouds, this agency has declared curried cabbage barks to be safe. While inhaling cloud gases can leave one feeling a bit green about the gills, the clouds have regenerative properties which can accelerate hair growth and help prevent baldness.

Before:    

After:

I am Hazmat Person of Borg......RUN AWAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!

I am After of Borg......Vrooooooom!

I am Swine of Borg......oink oink......

(falls over dead due to brown cloud eminations from toxic cabbage)

I am Drill Sergeant of Borg... if you think obstacle course and crawl around on your belly to keep your head below the gas cloud, you have a good chance of survival... stick your head up and it's likely to get 'blown' off.

I am Gomer Pyle of Borg.... but sergeant, couldn't we just walk upright and put propellors on our helmets to blow the gas cloud upwards?

I am Sergeant O'Rourke of Borg... if Corporal Agarn takes off his boots, a curried cabbage gas cloud will be the least of your worries.

I am Mt. Ranier of Borg......I can't compete with curried cabbage. Helen tried and she got blowed away.

I am CabbageHead of Borg......Where's my last shipment of Curry? If you assimilated it....

I am Curry of Borg......Hellllllllllllllp...starkers got me...helllllllllllllp...ooops phew that stinks. Best stay downwind...oh my

I am Surgeon of Borg... so, starkers of Borg, while we're removing your gall stones, do you want us to implant a larger exhaust to more quickly disperse your curried cabbage gas?

I am starkers of Borg... being I consume copious quantities, could you implant  a second exhaust... without mufflers.

I am Noise Control of Borg......Mr. Surgeon of Borg......IMPLANT THE MUFFLERS!!!!

Please.

I am GoodFeeling of Borg......Starkers of Borg is well past Due. BUMP!!

I am Surgeon of Borg... If I implant the mufflers, Mr Uvah of Borg, the curried cabbage barks may not be quite as deafening, but the stench will certainly still get through.

I am CC (as in catalytic converter) of Borg......Eminent Sturgeon...um...Surgeon of Borg...I am to regretfully inform you that the aforementioned mufflers have been unavoidably delayed to cost overruns. We couldn't find a readily available supply of duranium 360 for the shell casings. Sorry but you'll just have to stink some more. Have a nice day. Remnember...resistance is futile...unless of course you threaten the collective with another dish of curried cabbage. Then feel free to run away. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away!

holding nose till face turns blue and speckally