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Wednesday, January 16, 2008 by Philly0381 | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
half-gallon of 2% milk,
carton of eggs,
quart of orange juice,
head of romaine lettuce,
2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, * 'Cause you're ugly.' *
(To see the reply highlight between the *)
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
half-gallon of 2% milk,
carton of eggs,
quart of orange juice,
head of romaine lettuce,
2 lb. can of coffee, and
1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, * 'Cause you're ugly.' *
(To see the reply highlight between the *)
Philly0381
Reply #4 Wednesday, January 16, 2008 7:06 PM
Reply #4 Wednesday, January 16, 2008 7:06 PM
Glad you folks liked it. Just my little effort to lighten up the day. 
NightTrainthedark
Reply #6 Thursday, January 17, 2008 6:03 AM
Reply #6 Thursday, January 17, 2008 6:03 AM
One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they frequently did together.They arrived at the 12th hole where the husband promptly hit a tremendous slice that ended up behind an old barn.
"I guess I'll just have to play it safe and chip it onto the fairway," said the man.
"No wait," said his wife. "You can hit the ball through the barn."
The man decided to give it a try. But he sliced the ball, which ricocheted off the barn and struck his wife in the head, killing her instantly.The man was distraught and wallowed in his misery for many weeks, depriving himself of golf the whole time.
Eventually he relaized that he must face his demons and headed out to the very same golf course to play.Once again he found himself at the 12th hole and once again he hit a slice right behind the very same barn.As he was preparing to hit out safely to the fairway one of the other players in his four some asked if he wanted to try and hit it through the barn.
"Oh no," replied the man, horrified."I tried that last time."
"What happened?"
"I shot an 8!"
"I guess I'll just have to play it safe and chip it onto the fairway," said the man.
"No wait," said his wife. "You can hit the ball through the barn."
The man decided to give it a try. But he sliced the ball, which ricocheted off the barn and struck his wife in the head, killing her instantly.The man was distraught and wallowed in his misery for many weeks, depriving himself of golf the whole time.
Eventually he relaized that he must face his demons and headed out to the very same golf course to play.Once again he found himself at the 12th hole and once again he hit a slice right behind the very same barn.As he was preparing to hit out safely to the fairway one of the other players in his four some asked if he wanted to try and hit it through the barn.
"Oh no," replied the man, horrified."I tried that last time."
"What happened?"
"I shot an 8!"
Jafo
Reply #8 Thursday, January 17, 2008 7:14 AM
Reply #8 Thursday, January 17, 2008 7:14 AM
LOL Night Train. They're like that, aren't they!
The world's deadliest sport....more people die playing golf than any other.....
....and that's only right....considering their dress sense....
ESAF
Reply #9 Thursday, January 17, 2008 7:19 AM
Reply #9 Thursday, January 17, 2008 7:19 AM
Policeman on his horse says to little girl on her bike 'Did Santa get you that?' 'Yes' replies the little girl.'Well tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year' and fined her £5. The little girl looked up at the Policeman and said 'Nice horse you've got there - did Santa bring you that?' The Policeman chuckles and replies he sure did!'Well said the little girl 'next year,tell Santa the Dick goes under the horse and not ontop of it.
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Reply #1 Wednesday, January 16, 2008 1:40 PM
too funny, Philly! thanks bud. I needed that....