A Pastor and his donkey.
Saturday, November 3, 2007 by Philly0381 | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Was sent this yesterday so I thought I would share it. A little story about a Pastor, his donkey, the Bishop, and yes a Nun. You have to highlight between the two * to see the story. I didn't want to offend anyone.
*The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Alas ... The Bishop was buried the next day.
MORAL OF THE STORY???
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.*
Now wan't that just cute.
*The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Alas ... The Bishop was buried the next day.
MORAL OF THE STORY???
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.*
Now wan't that just cute.
iBookChick
Reply #4 Saturday, November 3, 2007 4:04 PM 
This made me think of one I read recently...
A young pastor was making his first visit to the home of an elderly woman who was ill. As they chatted, he nibbled on the peanuts that were in the dish on her bedside table.
When he got up to leave, he said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I've eaten all your peanuts."
"That's OK," she replied. "I can't eat them anyway, and I've already sucked all the chocolate off."
Reply #4 Saturday, November 3, 2007 4:04 PM
This made me think of one I read recently...A young pastor was making his first visit to the home of an elderly woman who was ill. As they chatted, he nibbled on the peanuts that were in the dish on her bedside table.
When he got up to leave, he said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I've eaten all your peanuts."
"That's OK," she replied. "I can't eat them anyway, and I've already sucked all the chocolate off."
iBookChick
Reply #7 Saturday, November 3, 2007 5:22 PM
Reply #7 Saturday, November 3, 2007 5:22 PM
Here's another one...
When a pastor visited a small congregation, two local pastors treated him to an afternoon of fishing. After they were in the boat for about a half-hour, the first pastor said, "I forgot my favorite lure in the truck. I'll be right back." He jumped out and walked on the water to the shore. He retrieved his lure and calmly walked on the water back to the boat. The visiting pastor was amazed!
A little while later, the second pastor said he needed to contact his office, but his cell phone was in the truck. He, too, jumped out of the boat, walked on the water to the shore, made his call and returned the same way.
At this point, the visiting pastor thought he should demonstrate the same kind of faith, so he jumped out of the boat but immediately sank.
The pastors looked at each other and said, "Should we tell him where the stumps are?"
When a pastor visited a small congregation, two local pastors treated him to an afternoon of fishing. After they were in the boat for about a half-hour, the first pastor said, "I forgot my favorite lure in the truck. I'll be right back." He jumped out and walked on the water to the shore. He retrieved his lure and calmly walked on the water back to the boat. The visiting pastor was amazed!
A little while later, the second pastor said he needed to contact his office, but his cell phone was in the truck. He, too, jumped out of the boat, walked on the water to the shore, made his call and returned the same way.
At this point, the visiting pastor thought he should demonstrate the same kind of faith, so he jumped out of the boat but immediately sank.
The pastors looked at each other and said, "Should we tell him where the stumps are?"
iBookChick
Reply #9 Saturday, November 3, 2007 6:50 PM
Reply #9 Saturday, November 3, 2007 6:50 PM
Last one for ya:
Three friends were talking about how they wanted to be remembered and what friends might say when taking a last look at them in their coffins.
Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a spiritual leader and a family man."
Merle said, "I would like them to say that I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God and that I made a huge difference in people's lives."
Don said, "I would like them to say, 'Look! He's Moving!' "
Three friends were talking about how they wanted to be remembered and what friends might say when taking a last look at them in their coffins.
Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a spiritual leader and a family man."
Merle said, "I would like them to say that I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God and that I made a huge difference in people's lives."
Don said, "I would like them to say, 'Look! He's Moving!' "
sydneysiders
Reply #10 Saturday, November 3, 2007 7:12 PM
very cute Philly......
Reply #10 Saturday, November 3, 2007 7:12 PM
So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer
very cute Philly......
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Reply #1 Saturday, November 3, 2007 2:47 PM