Just pretend that you're talking on your iPhone
OOPS
Thursday, February 8, 2007 by MySecret | Discussion: Personal Computing
Winner Of The First-Ever National Press Club Award For Humor
borowitzreport
Apple Recalls iPhone; Forgot to Include ‘Phone’ Feature
Jobs: Oops
In what could prove to be the most embarrassing misstep in consumer electronics history, Apple Inc. announced today that it would recall its entire production run of the Apple iPhone after discovering that it had failed to include a "phone" feature in the much-hyped handheld device.
Speaking from Apple corporate headquarters, company founder Steve Jobs offered consumers his apology for the monumental goof and seemed to be searching for an explanation for how it could have occurred.
"First and foremost, we’re sorry," a red-faced Mr. Jobs said in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. "When you make a product called the iPhone, people expect it to include a phone, and we messed that part up."
Mr. Jobs suggested that Apple had been so focused on making the iPhone the "coolest handheld device ever" that it had forgotten to include one of the most important features of any cellular phone: "One thing people like about cell phones is that you can dial numbers into them and call people."
Instead, he explained, Apple’s engineers had crammed the iPhone with a plethora of what he called "non-phonal features," such as a camera, an MP3 player, a taser, and a tactical nuclear weapon.
While Mr. Jobs said that almost all of the nine million iPhones that had been shipped to stores were on their way back to Apple’s manufacturing plant, he offered advice to consumers who somehow had already obtained the phoneless iPhone: "Just hold it up to your head and pretend to be talking into it."
Elsewhere, the Fish and Wildlife Service said that it would remove wolves from the endangered species list and add Republicans.
I apologize for not including both the link and authors name when I originally posted the story.
It's My Secret
borowitzreport
Apple Recalls iPhone; Forgot to Include ‘Phone’ Feature
Jobs: Oops
In what could prove to be the most embarrassing misstep in consumer electronics history, Apple Inc. announced today that it would recall its entire production run of the Apple iPhone after discovering that it had failed to include a "phone" feature in the much-hyped handheld device.
Speaking from Apple corporate headquarters, company founder Steve Jobs offered consumers his apology for the monumental goof and seemed to be searching for an explanation for how it could have occurred.
"First and foremost, we’re sorry," a red-faced Mr. Jobs said in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. "When you make a product called the iPhone, people expect it to include a phone, and we messed that part up."
Mr. Jobs suggested that Apple had been so focused on making the iPhone the "coolest handheld device ever" that it had forgotten to include one of the most important features of any cellular phone: "One thing people like about cell phones is that you can dial numbers into them and call people."
Instead, he explained, Apple’s engineers had crammed the iPhone with a plethora of what he called "non-phonal features," such as a camera, an MP3 player, a taser, and a tactical nuclear weapon.
While Mr. Jobs said that almost all of the nine million iPhones that had been shipped to stores were on their way back to Apple’s manufacturing plant, he offered advice to consumers who somehow had already obtained the phoneless iPhone: "Just hold it up to your head and pretend to be talking into it."
Elsewhere, the Fish and Wildlife Service said that it would remove wolves from the endangered species list and add Republicans.
I apologize for not including both the link and authors name when I originally posted the story.
It's My Secret
kenwas
Reply #2 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:26 AM
Reply #2 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:26 AM
Why did you not post this "article" as it was published? You also removed the following part of the article,
"Elsewhere, the Fish and Wildlife Service said that it would remove wolves from the endangered species list and add Republicans."
"Elsewhere, the Fish and Wildlife Service said that it would remove wolves from the endangered species list and add Republicans."
MySecret
Reply #3 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:45 AM
Reply #3 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:45 AM
oops 
Ok I thought people would get it 
It's My Secret
Ok I thought people would get it 
It's My Secret
kenwas
Reply #4 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:49 AM
Reply #4 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:49 AM
It is not a question of "getting it". I am sure everyone gets the joke especially as the phone is not due out until June. The point is that you might have referenced the source and author with name, quotation marks, or link.
Island Dog
Reply #5 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:53 AM
Reply #5 Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:53 AM
Although it's obvious it's a joke, the real author should at least get credit and linked to.
http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=6682&srch=
http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=6682&srch=
Fairyy~
Reply #6 Thursday, February 8, 2007 8:13 AM
It was ?
gullible_fairy
Reply #6 Thursday, February 8, 2007 8:13 AM
although it's obvious it's a joke
It was ?
gullible_fairy
MySecret
Reply #7 Thursday, February 8, 2007 10:11 AM
Reply #7 Thursday, February 8, 2007 10:11 AM
I apologize for not including both the link and authors name when I originally posted the story. 
Added the link to original post
Sorry Fairyy~
It's My Secret
Added the link to original post
Sorry Fairyy~
It's My Secret
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Reply #1 Thursday, February 8, 2007 6:09 AM
http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=6682&srch=