Dogs Have Feelings Too
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 by starkers | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Forums Have been a bit slow lately...maybe a few regulars hibernating or on sabatical 
so figured I'd contribute to liven proceedings up a little 
TOP 10 DOG PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!
2. Yelling at me for barking ... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ... stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo -- what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
The origininal was funnier cos it had dogicons to excentuate the joke, but sadly I could not master copying those over as well. Oh well, still is amusing, however.
so figured I'd contribute to liven proceedings up a little 
TOP 10 DOG PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!
2. Yelling at me for barking ... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ... stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo -- what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
The origininal was funnier cos it had dogicons to excentuate the joke, but sadly I could not master copying those over as well. Oh well, still is amusing, however.
starkers
Reply #2 Tuesday, March 14, 2006 11:28 AM
PO'....my dog's even worse! Apart from the smelly cigars (Cubans, I think), he phones a mob called Barman Express when his bottle's empty as well. :
Without training, he uses the kitty litter tray for his nature calls, and I suppose a bloke should be grateful that his calls of nature aren't random territory marking all around the place....trouble is, now the cat won't use it and his are. Sure that damned dog does it on purpose...if not to get the cat into trouble, it's purely to inconvenience me while he's ordering takeaways, more cigars and gin
I drew the line at bringing hookers, but I'm sure that mutt'll test my patience there again, bein' that he's on good terms with the local madam.
Reply #2 Tuesday, March 14, 2006 11:28 AM
| [Po' Smedley] Yeah, that's all well and good. But what if this is your dog? |
PO'....my dog's even worse! Apart from the smelly cigars (Cubans, I think), he phones a mob called Barman Express when his bottle's empty as well. :
Without training, he uses the kitty litter tray for his nature calls, and I suppose a bloke should be grateful that his calls of nature aren't random territory marking all around the place....trouble is, now the cat won't use it and his are. Sure that damned dog does it on purpose...if not to get the cat into trouble, it's purely to inconvenience me while he's ordering takeaways, more cigars and gin
I drew the line at bringing hookers, but I'm sure that mutt'll test my patience there again, bein' that he's on good terms with the local madam.
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Reply #1 Tuesday, March 14, 2006 10:29 AM