Old Crab asks.....could you hold your temper..........

Monday, July 12, 2004 by Old_Crab | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk

......ah me. Lord have mercy upon me! Where to begin? Today started right enough. School is out for the summer and there is an abundance of cheap high-school labor around. I caught one and we settled on his price for a day of labor doing some house maintainence. I hooked up the pressure washer and we began to clean my siding. Something the aluminum siding salesman tend to ignore when selling the stuff. Mildew and mold mostly. My dear old Dad asked if he could mow the lawn. The lawn is about 4.7 acres by the way. I told him to go ahead, but to check the lawn for limbs and large rocks, (which tend to almost magically grow up out of the ground over night) so that the mower wouldn't run over them and dull the blades. Things were going just peachy until.....Dad ran over one of my 100 irrigation hoses. ($1.25 a foot). Oh well. Nothing a good repair kit couldn't handle....if we could untangle it from under the mower. Had to get the ramps out and haul the mower up by hand. Yep some 10 feet of hose was tangled up around the 3 mower blades. I had to slice it out. Then it was back to work on the house. After about 2 hours I felt something and thought my flip-flop was stuck on the ladder rung and I didn't give it a second thought until I saw General JEB "Jeb" Stuart hauling a out of the Pecan trees. I looked down to see what he was after and a foot long Copperhead was chewing on my left flip-flop. Pandamonium ensued of course. My young high school laborer immediately scrambled as high as he could go on his ladder and I did the same. I assured Brian not to worry. General JEB Stuart would take care of the snake and just as quickly as I said that, he had it and was triumphly stalking off to feast upon his prowness. Well it used to be that had all this taken place a year ago I would have had a temper tantrum beyond measure. However, as time goes by and I've come to some conclusions about my temper that I've never liked I've changed...somehow. I still get angry, but as my Doctor has told me "I got to learn to control my temper,.......and my blood pressure...or I'll have a stroke". There is more to life.....and life I've found, no matter how hard scrabble it is....can and does have it's memorable and humorful moments. As Pint can attest to. He was watching and laughing at us all day....from the safety of his back porch... of course.
[Message Edited]
Jafo
Reply #1 Monday, July 12, 2004 7:17 PM

It all started a few weeks ago.

My 5 year old washing machine had an identity crisis.  It wanted hence-forth to br known as an 'inert white object'...[The White-good Formerly Known As Washing Machine].  Armed with an antipathy to 'all things electric'.....and a screwdriver, I soon had it cowering in the corner, lobotomy in progress [nope, no anaesthetic] and lo and behold, a white condenser thingie with a not-too-subtle burn hole in it.
'Hmmm', I thought...[no, I didn't...I seldom 'think', prefering to swear antagonistically]...'that's gotta be the culprit'.
Just so happened that I was drawing a house for a White-goods parts supplier....'Magic'.  $6.00 later and I'd renamed the 'TWFKAWM' back to 'Simpson Front-Loader'.

All went well....for about a week.

Then, 3 Wednesdays ago, the water main burst....in the street...[common occurrence, you could set your watches  by it]....no water...and it's 7.00 AM.....and I 'need' coffee.
This isn't 'good'.
10.00 AM....water on....stopped strangling small furry animals in frustration...had coffee...got organised to drive the 'boss' to work. [She doesn't drive...call it a 'blindness thing'].
We hop into the car [that's just a turn of phrase, we aren't really 'all' kangaroos]...start the car, and successfully travel, oh, I don't know, about 70 feet.  There's a 'bang', followed by deafening.....silence.
Ah, methinks, I'm a smart-arse...I can jump-start a car...[nope, we are still not 'roos'...it's another one of them phrases]...it's down-hill...I turn left, gather speed, foot on clutch in second, drop the clutch, and.......
Nuffin what-so-ever.
Odd...me tries again....nope...and again.....nope....OK...running out of hill, here...damn.
Dead stop, and no go.
Ringing the mechanic on the mobile, [that's 'cell phone' for the emerging countries..], he bets me it's a Distributor module, and swears he can have it 'sorted'.  I tell him I don't want a hit taken out on it, I just want it going again.
6.00 PM, the truck has removed the corpse...I twiddle thumbs wondering about 'Emma Chizzit' [bit of 'Strine', that...'How much is it'].
6.30 PM....phone rings...no, wasn't the 'module', it was the Distributor living up to its name.  It had taken it upon itself to 'distribute' its own entrails to the four winds.
To paraphrase Python...it was an 'Ex distributor'...'it has shuffled of this mortal coil'...[no, not THAT 'coil'].
$340.00 later, I had a round thingie shuffling sparky thingies in the correct sequence to the right places.
All was well....

Till the following Wednesday...[Geldof might not like Mondays, I'm starting to grow a tad displeased with Wednesdays]...I had oodles of work to do...phone calls, faxes and things....but of course...it's Wednesday.
Silly me.
Phone decides it wants to emulate a Washing Machine, and/or a Distributor.
Out with the Mobile [you know what they are, now]...ring Telstra..[that's trendy Aussie abbreviation for 'Telecom Australia']...Automated error reporting...tests line...yes you have a fault...[I knew that, why else would I be ringing?]...puts me on to human...you have a fault....yes, I know, that's why I called..[you have to admire pure logic]....will be repaired by end of day.....tomorrow.
Thursday, 9.00 AM [no lie, honest...I 'must' have been the only polite caller]...little man is there.
"You have a fault"..."Yes, I know."...[picks up phone]..."Yes, it's dead...no tone."..."Yes, I know...when I'm not saying 'yes I know', I'm a Formula One Communications Official..I can 'tell' I have no 'tone'."
Little man puts strange thingie near connection..... "the fault is 167 meters away" [that's about 500 feet].
"Oh, poo...and I'm the ONLY person affected?"
"Yup...happens."...He goes off...comes back a half hour later..."Try now".
Ah, the phone's a phone again, not just a curiously shaped hunk of plastic...At least there's no charge.

Friday....dentist....filling...[did I mention one had fallen out on that first Wednesday?  Probably not].

Monday...and my wife's brother's mother-in-law succumbs to Cancer, [Funeral Friday].  It happens....I believe it's 1 in 3 people will die from cancer, and the other 2 will know someone who will...

Wednesday...[naturally, there's a pattern]...I log onto DeviantART and am greeted by a 'new user' who has somewhat 'modified' my photo and nick...let's just say it's all about the 'C' word.
Just another demonstration of a need for policy reform and abuse handling on Devart.
Jark saves the day [thanks, mate] and normalcy is restored....[well, it's now Thursday, so it's gotta be better than it was].

I can't help looking furtively around at my surroundings, wondering which inanimate object is going to launch an uprising next...which curve ball from left field will rear its ugly head and grab me by the short and curlies and kick my dunny down....


Probably this darned 'submit' button....I'll push it, and it'll fall into the workings of the GUI and I'll be staring at a BSOD....

Nah....

It's not Wednesday...

Hus
Reply #2 Monday, July 12, 2004 7:18 PM
I've always had a really bad temper. When I was a little kid, and I lost in something...the whole neighborhood knew about it. I do think that my bad temper has actually helped me though, nothing is worse than me failing at something, I can't stand it...and that gives me motivation to do everything as best as I can. When I started playing pool, I lost...I lost my temper...I tried harder...next thing I know, I'm winning tournaments. I also have absolutely no patience...so getting pissed is the only way for me to do something for an extended period of time (like practicing my golf swing). I miss a shot, I get mad and better do it right the next time...or else!

I do have a question though, who is General JEB Stuart and what's it doing eating snakes?
BoXXi
Reply #3 Monday, July 12, 2004 7:46 PM
I don't lose my temper...... everyone who knows me knows that would be a "bad thing", and so they don't provoke me. It's a state of affairs that suits me just fine....
yrag
Reply #4 Monday, July 12, 2004 7:54 PM
I do have a question though, who is General JEB Stuart and what's it doing eating snakes?


My guess is the 'General' is a snake eating pet...either that or OC has this guy livin' on his spread..http://www.us-civilwar.com/jeb.htm

@Jafo.....I do have one question though...What the hell is a 'Dunny'?...can you put that in Merr-a-can speak? (I understood the 'C' word thingy...China taught me )

Jafo
Reply #5 Monday, July 12, 2004 9:29 PM
yrag....'dunny' is strine for 'toilet', usually the free-standing, outside variety....
yrag
Reply #6 Monday, July 12, 2004 10:22 PM
Oh...OK...it's what we would call a 'tree'...
goodmorphing
Reply #7 Monday, July 12, 2004 11:38 PM

Nobody knows I have such a temper... but I do.  In some of her last days my Mother said that she had rarely seen me angry, but the times she had it was *impressive*.  She said it was powerful, concise, intelligent, to the point, humuliating, and logical to a fault...

For me, I don't remember much beyond the moments that my hands clenched, my sholders squared off, my whole body tensed.  I had a sense of things happening very quickly...

Mom said it is all mostly a show of force with a masterful verbal assault. 

I don't like to feel that much out of control.  So I avoid anger as much as I can. 

IPlural
Reply #8 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 2:15 AM
I've no temper in the least, RAGE does



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Fuzzy Logic
Reply #9 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 4:04 AM

strangling small furry animals in frustration

Fuzzy Logic and all the other small furry animals go hide in a corner...

IPlural
Reply #10 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 4:21 AM
IPlural grabs H&k .45 and a handful of chocolates for furry ones then takes up position looking out from corner.


mmm, seriously?

Temper is a good thing as long as the person deals with it instead of letting it deal with them

Though I do admit I have taken Anger Managment twice and nothing has changed much other than I now know why the switch flips. But it comes in many different ways so it is an on going process of learning for me.

hehehe, anyone else have a keyboard which is so bowed in the middle it rocks on the desktop?





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Ande
Reply #11 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 5:37 AM
I've got a temper. Blood Pressure 128/70.
_footsie_
Reply #12 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 12:05 PM
Hey Old Crab......hows come you were wearing flipflops in copperhead country and climbing ladders with em??
Erk.
Reply #13 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 12:14 PM
One must not question CrabLogic Mrs F.....



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_footsie_
Reply #14 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 2:06 PM
IPlural
Reply #15 Tuesday, July 13, 2004 10:27 PM
oh look it's Eric!

hiya dude



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Erk.
Reply #16 Wednesday, July 14, 2004 1:46 AM
Hiya IP.... will catch up with you soon in irc, hopefully.

It's peak tourism season here in Cairns AU at the moment, and my backpacker hostel is full to the brim. Havent had time lately to even scratch an itch. Demanding lot these backpackers!

I've also been busy repainting the entire building, inside and out ...by myself. *TIP. Never let the higher-up powers in your organisation know that you are quite the handyman It'll be taken advantage of. Luckily though, I have pride in my work and always achieve good results. The upside is that they look after me very well financially. I pay zero bills for utilities, and my apartment overlooking the gateway to the Great Barrier Reef is provided free as well.

I am off work this week with a pretty serious chest infection though, so I should be good for a visit or two in irc soon



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