Kisses on the neck

Sunday, September 26, 2021 by gpensanti | Discussion: Humor

A prisoner escapes from prison, where he's been locked up for 15 years.  Breaking into a house for money and guns, he finds a young couple in bed.  He ties the man to a chair, while trying the homeowner's wife to the bed.  The convict kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife; "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict.  He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.  I saw he he kissed your neck.  If he wants sex, don't resist.  Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.  If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.  Be strong, honey, I love you so!"

His wife4 responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck.  He was whispering in my ear.  He told me that he's gay, thinks you're  cute and asked if we hade any Vaseline.  I told him it was in the bathroom.  "Be strong honey.  I love you, toooo."

 

 

 

LightStar
Reply #1 Sunday, September 26, 2021 4:38 PM

     

starkers
Reply #2 Sunday, September 26, 2021 6:33 PM

A botanist collecting plant samples in the jungle is beset upon by two male gorillas who tie him with his face to a tree with vines.  They then pull down his pants and proceed to sodomise him.  A while after they had finished and left the scene, a couple of chimpanzees see his bare butt and avail themselves of it also.  When they had finished and left the scene, a couple of baboons come and repeat the act. Shortly after a group of Masai warriors take advantage of his compromised postion, as did a tribe of pygmy hunters.

A few hours had passed and a priest on missionary work came along and asked the botanist what had happened to him.  The botanist told him of his ordeal in detail and said: "I am so glad you came along, father, to release me from this embarrassing and most uncomfortable ordeal."

With that the priest begins to unzip his fly and the botanist asks what he's doing.

The Priest responds: "It's just not your lucky day, is it.

crplair
Reply #3 Sunday, September 26, 2021 8:14 PM

       

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