The Monty Python thread
Sunday, February 9, 2003 by Frogboy | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Quotes from Monty Python here:
"We demand a shrubbery!"
"We demand a shrubbery!"
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Larry Kuperman
Reply #62 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:34 PM
Reply #62 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:34 PM
Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
Eric the Half a Bee
A good link BTW is http://www.wilken.freeserve.co.uk/Montypython/songs.htm
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
Eric the Half a Bee
A good link BTW is http://www.wilken.freeserve.co.uk/Montypython/songs.htm
UBoB
Reply #63 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:39 PM
Reply #63 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:39 PM
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
UBoB
Reply #64 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:41 PM
Reply #64 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:41 PM
We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv'.
BoXXi
Reply #65 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:41 PM
Reply #65 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:41 PM
Four well-dressed men sitting together at a vacation resort. "Farewell to Thee" being played in the background on Hawaiian guitar.
Michael Palin: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.
Graham Chapman: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?
Terry Gilliam: You're right there Obediah.
Eric Idle: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?
MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.
GC: A cup ' COLD tea.
EI: Without milk or sugar.
TG: OR tea!
MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.
EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."
EI: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.
GC: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!
TG: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!
MP: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.
EI: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpaulin, but it was a house to US.
GC: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!
TG: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.
MP: Cardboard box?
TG: Aye.
MP: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
GC: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!
TG: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
EI: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
MP: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
ALL: Nope, nope..
BoXXi is a Yorkshireman.....had to post this one!
Michael Palin: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.
Graham Chapman: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?
Terry Gilliam: You're right there Obediah.
Eric Idle: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?
MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.
GC: A cup ' COLD tea.
EI: Without milk or sugar.
TG: OR tea!
MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.
EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."
EI: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.
GC: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!
TG: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!
MP: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.
EI: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpaulin, but it was a house to US.
GC: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!
TG: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.
MP: Cardboard box?
TG: Aye.
MP: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
GC: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!
TG: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
EI: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
MP: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
ALL: Nope, nope..
BoXXi is a Yorkshireman.....had to post this one!
UBoB
Reply #66 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:43 PM
Reply #66 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:43 PM
No, not 'is'. You wouldn't get vary far in life not saying 'is'.
UBoB
Reply #68 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:45 PM
Reply #68 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:45 PM
....He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge....
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge....
Aleatoric
Reply #69 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:49 PM
Reply #69 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:49 PM
Good evening, and welcome to The Money Programme. Tonight on The Money Programme, we're going to look at money. Lots of it. On film, and in the studio. Some of it in nice piles, others in lovely clanky bits of loose change. Some of it neatly counted into fat little hundreds, delicate fivers stuffed into bulging wallets, nice crisp clean checks, pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, romantic foreign money rolling against the thigh with rough familiarity, beautiful wayward curlicued banknotes, filigreed copper plating cheek by jowl with tumbly ( ? ) rubbing gently against the terse leather of beautifully balanced bank books!
Frogboy
Reply #71 Sunday, February 9, 2003 7:35 PM
Reply #71 Sunday, February 9, 2003 7:35 PM
Inflammation of the foreskin, reminds me of your smile...
UBoB
Reply #73 Sunday, February 9, 2003 8:45 PM
Reply #73 Sunday, February 9, 2003 8:45 PM
Due to the PG rating of this site I'm intentionally refraining from posting any lines from "The Dirty Vicar" sketch. But it was funny. 
Jafo
Reply #75 Sunday, February 9, 2003 9:09 PM
Reply #75 Sunday, February 9, 2003 9:09 PM
"One day....all of this will be yours.'
'Wot,...the window?'
'Wot,...the window?'
SuperheroCanadian
Reply #77 Sunday, February 9, 2003 9:24 PM
Reply #77 Sunday, February 9, 2003 9:24 PM
" ...lets not go to camelot, its a very silly place"
UBoB
Reply #80 Sunday, February 9, 2003 10:08 PM
Reply #80 Sunday, February 9, 2003 10:08 PM
Badger: Well, I have for a long time been suffering from a species of brain injury which I incurred during the rigours of childbirth, and I'd like to conclude by putting my finger up my nose.
Interviewer: Mr Badger, I think you're the silliest person we've ever had on this programme, and so I'm going to ask you to have dinner with me.
Interviewer: Mr Badger, I think you're the silliest person we've ever had on this programme, and so I'm going to ask you to have dinner with me.
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Reply #61 Sunday, February 9, 2003 5:34 PM
[ping]
You see? That means your baby is still alive!