California is running out of water because it is a desert
with a large growing population using a lot of water.
The leaders failed to plan ahead 10 years ago when
they should have been coming up with a solution,
desalination or new aqueducts from a water rich
area.

I will try green eggs and ham
I will try them Sam I am.

I received a message today.
"The donkey is in the white barn."
Let's get out our secret decoder ring and see
what this message means.
It decodes as follows.
The genius is on the golf course and you are
spitting on a tube in a closet.

Funny comic

Do we live in a hulahoopagram?

Comic

Suicide Rates Rise Sharply in U.S.
In 2010 there were 38,364 suicides in the US.

Obama's carbon plan could save 3,500 lives annually

Could the carbon plan cause suicide rates to rise sharply?

Subject California:
Buy a track and hope for rain
or desalinate,end the pain
Smoke some pot and build a train
watch the future go down the drain
If you want to grow a brain
put in a pipe and collect some rain
I learned this from the captain
better hurry before sh*t happen

Tourists like to take a shower
and they need electric power
Fill Lake Mead with lots of water
or get sued like you hurt your shoulder
Just when the economy was almost good
they screwed us all like we knew they would
Vote republican before it's to late
or we will all be eating cake

The tire pressure should be up to the quarterback,
just change the rule.
How about a two cent fine.

Grab a facemask break a neck
punch em in the ribs what the heck
hit em so hard their teeth fall out
that's what footballs all about
you can really ring those bells
they might have to sit a spell
after the doctor checks em out
it's back on the field with out a doubt
you can smash their brains again
the people watching will just grin
we don't care if you die
get hit so hard you lose an eye
there is one thing we won't allow
it is considered the biggest foul
you will lose a lot of treasure
if you mess with that ball pressure

What do you call an earthquake proof train?
Airplane.

"The first full-scale working railway steam locomotive
was built in the United Kingdom in 1804 by Richard Trevithick."
"The first wheels were not used for transportation. Evidence
indicates they were created to serve as potter's wheels
around 3500 B.C. in Mesopotamia"
"Claims for the earliest definitive evidence of control
of fire by a member of Homo range from 0.2 to 1.7 million years ago"
"Roman-style aqueducts were used as early as the 7th century BC, when
the Assyrians built an 80 km long limestone aqueduct, which included
a 10 m high section to cross a 300 m wide valley, to carry water
to their capital city, Nineveh."
"By Christmas 1990, Berners-Lee had built all the tools necessary for a working Web"

Why do updates break the computer?

What will come after Windows 10?
OS X Kings Canyon

Analog was great,
sorry if you missed it.

Big software and the 100 trillion dollar
class action lawsuit.
Coming in a century near you.

Buy a car with cash new for $20,000
turn it in to a cab for 100,000 miles,
I calculate 65 cents a mile cost,
more if you get a loan for the car.

Lets say the fair is $1 dollar per mile.
You take someone 25 miles.
That's 25 dollars minus 20% for boober,
25 - 5 = 20 minus your cost a minimum of 65 cents per mile,
.65 times 25 miles, in this case $16.25
equals $3.75 - income tax = $2.88 for a half hour trip,
that is after tax income of $5.77 per hour.
Don't forget to pay for the phone.
"Life changing money."

Your car cost per mile in reality.
Car new $20,000.
Figure the car lasts 100,000 miles hard use.
20,000 Divided by 100,000 equals .20 cents a mile.
You get 20 miles per gallon with the air on
in the city if you are lucky.That's 5000 gallons
to go 100,000 miles at currently $4 bucks a gallon.
4 times 5000 is $20,000 Divided by 100,000 equals .20 cents a mile.
We are now at .40 cents per mile cost to drive your car.
Now figure insurance,registration,smog checks 4 sets of tires
at $400 each set to go 100,000 miles,oil changes, breaks
shocks and struts,all fluids,alignments and so on.
We are now at a minimum of .50 cents a mile.
Now add in the oh shit factor and we are at
.65 cents a mile.
I wouldn't take a fair less than $1.99 a mile.
"Life changing money."