Things my wife says
Saturday, January 3, 2015 by Frogboy | Discussion: Life, the Universe and Everything
My wife is a mathematician by training but her wit is second to none. In a different life, I think she’d been a good comedy writer. So I’ve decided to start tracking some of her quips. 
This is all from this morning:
Me: You’re too good a cook. You’re making me fat.
Deb: And if I was a bad cook, you’d be complaining about that instead.
Me: And?
Deb: You’re like the Kobayashi Maru of food.
--
Deb: Every time we travel now we have to find people to take care of the chickens.
Me: Look, we’re chicken people now. And we’ll be chicken people until the day you die.
Deb: Oh, you’re definitely going first.
Me: Oh really?
Deb: How’s that coffee?
Me: Er..Almondy.
--
More to come..
Reply #2 Saturday, January 3, 2015 1:59 PM
Ain't gonna be no more, she straight up poisoned you. RIP Frogboy.
Reply #3 Saturday, January 3, 2015 2:11 PM
Only a half dose in that coffee, he will wake up. Deb just wanted to make sure he knows who the boss really is. The RIP can come at anytime. Stay on your toes Frogboy.
Reply #4 Saturday, January 3, 2015 2:14 PM
1. Get a damn job!
2. Walk the dogs.
3. Take out the trash. (No, I don't mean your ex wife!)
Reply #5 Saturday, January 3, 2015 3:06 PM
You can only win the first scenario by reprogramming the kitchen appliances.
Reply #7 Sunday, January 4, 2015 2:01 PM
Me: "Honey, you know just where to touch it!"
Her: "Like you wouldn't think that about anywhere I touch it!"
Reply #8 Sunday, January 4, 2015 6:56 PM
I'll have to chat to her when we get over there next time....there are tasteless alternatives she could use....
Reply #9 Sunday, January 4, 2015 8:55 PM
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Reply #1 Saturday, January 3, 2015 1:40 PM
a very understanding wife who allows you to air all this.