For some people I could use Starkers' rusty knife...

The knives? Smartarse!

No no no.....you're supposed to use a spoon. Ain't I learned you nuttin'?

Castration is too humane. They do that to animals. Its called neutering or being spayed. I say tying their family jewels, not the fake glass ones ut the real deal, to a string. Like this.

One very large fellow has an argument with a very small fellow. It gets a bit heated and the very large fellow bops the very small fellow on the head causing immediate brain damage. The very big fellow goes home not even thinking about his encounter with the very small fellow. Then, in the wee hours the very large fellow feels discomfort while trying to sleep. He wakes to find a very heavy weight on his chest, a mqanhole cover of all things. Now the very large fellow is also very strong so he lifts the weight off his chest and walks it over to an open window, He tosses it out. As it turns over there is a note taped to its underside. It reads: You have ten seconds to untie this from your nuts! Have a nice day.

Scientists that can't read the future in the stars. I'm appalled.

I was going to mention blunt and rusty knives, but thought better of it as didn't want to upset the professionals at the Gonad Removal Society.  But bugger 'em I say... so how about cold and rusty old butter knives with jagged edges?

So was I at first, but then it dawned on me that seismologists are unlikely to be carrying 'The Prophet's Universal Guide to Astrology: the definitive handbook for predicting cataclysmic events.'  Yup, that would have been so important at the time.  I mean, how would thy have known the difference without it, between a seismic event and what may have been hunger pangs... bellies growling because the spaghetti bog was long overdue.  Sure they could have looked up their horoscope in the daily papers, but without the handbook for predicting cataclysmic events they had absolutely no hope at all of understanding the severity of the situation

Now everyone is saying Einstein is wrong.

What da hell, is the world coming to...

And who the frick are we gonna put on trial for not emphatically warning us about that a lot sooner?

Bloody scientists!!!  Always getting it wrong... and no freakin' apologies  NOOOOO!!!

Eibstein might be dead, but he at least could have written out an apology to be read out posthumously.

And what about all these twerps with the global warming thing... are we gonna get apologies from that crowd when it's proven they're wrong?

Of course not, the bastards will blame their computer modeling software and say  the IT people are responsible for the greatest hoax in history.

So while were at it.... prosecuting Italian scientists, that is, we ought to get all these global warming/climate change imbeciles before the courts as well.

There again, bugger it!  There's more than enough evidence to dispense with that rigmaroll and just lock 'em up.  And throw away the key, I say, throw it as far as it can possibly go, I say.

Next up, I reckon we drag the Hollywood Producers before the courts.... for not warning us strongly enough about the crap they've been serving up recently

I mean, when will they learn... that no movie is better than a bad movie.... and frankly, most over the last couple of years have been bloody woeful, to say the least.

And don't think you're getting away with it, bankers.... you're next  [insert evil laugh here]

Boy...have you got issues. Lol

Done!

Probably 'needs' to be "wielders of blunt and rusty knives"....

or perhaps....

"blunt and rusty knife-wielders...."

No, that's worse....go with option one. ...

To avoid possible misunderstanding, just buy and use a spoon. They are naturally blunt.

But... 'there is no spoon'...

Yeah, I think it's because I was an over-protected child and wrapped up in cotton wool.

Of course I'm gonna have issues after that, then entering the real world only to find there are more bastards and bullies than there are nice guys.

By the time you add up all the politicians; corporate bigwigs; bankers; economists; scientists; movie moguls; advertisers and Google execs, there's a much smaller percentage of the population left to be the good guys and gals.

No wonder I have trouble sleeping.  All of the above give me the eebie jeebies and nighmares.

Hmmmmm!  While I thank my parents for my charmed and idyllic childhood in the pleasant countryside of dear old Devon, it actually disadvantaged me because it in no way prepared me for the manic mongrels and Google execs of this world. 

In fact, it should be compulsory learning at school, recognising big bastards and the evil of Google, to prepare the young and vulnerable for the real world.

Another thing that should be compulsory education, is a day trip to parliament/whatever in the US, so that kids can see first-hand how childish and immature our politicians are... in the hope all the petty and childish bickering will dissuade them from voting in the future and electing imbeciles.

So, Doc, being a member of the medical profession n' all, would it be unethical to perform a gonad removal using a spoon?  I mean, would doctors perform this kind of procedure, or would we have to look elsewhere - say to a vet or a butcher - to deknackerise a banker or a politician with a rusty old spoon [that hasn't been sanitised or sterilised]?

The trouble is, and I can see it now, we'll have the usual do-gooders protesting the procedure and calling it barbaric.  Geez, how I hate do-gooders [add them to the list as well].  Yup, they'll come up with some 'chemical castration' solution [ a painless injection or something] and take all the fun out of it.

You can always give them ten inches of string and a manhole cover. Tie one end to their jewels and the other to the manhole cover and make them carry it. Don't drop it though. BIG OUCH!

Alternatively, tightly tie one end of 20 - 30 feet of string to the offending parts [another way of saying mongrels like that shouldn't be allowed to breed] and the other end to a large concrete block, then take them to a high mountain pass where a bridge looks down on the white water rapids 300 feet below, where you stand them on the guard rail then throw the concrete block over the side.

Hehe, they can either opt to plunge to their demise or simply stand there and lose the wedding tackle. 

It would be interesting to see how any would just stand there thinking, I can survive this. I can suuurrrrrrvvviiiiiiiiiiiiive..........................splat!

And the more the merrier.

Yup!