New Element Discovered
Sunday, March 7, 2010 by Fuzzy Logic | Discussion: WinCustomize Talk
Researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
Reply #2 Sunday, March 7, 2010 11:56 AM
So that's what happened to my retirement fund. That explaines everything....
Reply #3 Sunday, March 7, 2010 12:17 PM
While inert, it causes Obstructium to block doorways, halls and useful or helpful processes and is the major tertiary structural component of Crappinol and Bullshiticate.
The only relief for situations caused by Gv is Rv (Revolutionium) which while flushing the Gv (good) allows another to eventually take it's place (bad).
Nusquam succurro habenae, pro faeces usquequaque reverto.
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Reply #1 Sunday, March 7, 2010 11:27 AM
Ok...I feel better now. I need to go buy a Governmentuim detector....Oh...wait....I have one! My wallet is empty! Damn Governmentium!!!!