Master chefs makes things to go in a body, whereas Master Starkers makes them to exit.

  so true ed so true

Yep, you stuff 'em, he'll fluff 'em.

Isn't the digestive system a wonderous thing... how it can turn solids into gas... just like that.

Just think...back in the day all those alchemists really did have it all wrong. Go figure. Hey Doc...I heard someplace that the digestive juices inside the stomach are more powerful then the best corrosive acid.  Is that true? "Cause if it is...(secret behind the starkerbark...shhhh...don't tell no one).

Starkers ate a book once and it desolved.  We called it readers digest.

Nope...most corrosive liquid?

If you mean corrosive to inorganic elements, probably sulfuric acid.

As far as human flesh goes, there is no question that HF (hydrogen fluoride / hydrofluoric acid) is the most corrosive.

First, HF causes no painful burns on contact which allows it to seep deeply into human tissue without notice. It may take hours for HF exposure to become apparent.

The fluoride cation combines with the calcium in bones to dissociate calcium, causing the bones to essentially slowly liquefy. Local skin, muscle and fat necrosis follows soon after.

 "Reader's Digest Vaporized Edition"....lol. 

Actually, it was a book on how to train dogs not to "bark'... didn't want the missus to get any ideas.

Speaking of barks...out of curiosity I went over to YouTube and found some videos titled 'Farts do kill'. You should check it out. There's a good one called jingle farts. The scene opens on an ancient battlefield complete with mists overlying the land. Total devastation. I thought starkers had gone in there and blasted them.

Were the dead riddled with high velocity cabbage scrapnel?

It was brownish, sort of...bodies everywhere. Smoldering carts. A pall over the scene and one dude walking through holding a sword and listening to the complaints of the dead guys. Every so often he'd scrunch up his nose like he smelled something not nice. Gruesome. There was some kind of dark greenish/brown goo on the ground but it was hard to see because of the mist. I thought maybe starkers might enlighten us. He knows about those sort of things.

I'd like to be able to enlighten you all, but I was at home at the time, scoffing down a bowl of curried cabbage while watching my protoge, Mr Methane, on TV.  I did, however, peel off a ripe one later that evening, which may or may not have been responsible for the pungent whiff in the air that night... but I doubt the dark greenish/brownish goo was mine. 

After a rather unfortunate accident some years ago that ruined my best pair of blue suede shoes - not to mention my best pair of flared leather pants because is was more than ankle deep - I ensure all the water is drained off the boiled cabbage to ensure absolutely dry farts. So if there was a greenish brown goo that night, I'd say there is somebody going around impersonating me... somebody who may have learned the secret of curried cabbabge.... but not how to control their sphincter.

I pray you are wrong starkers 'cause anyone who's got the b***s to impersonate you and resemble an original starkerbark......Ooohh......you'll have to stock up and get set to blast him/her to the middle of the next millenium out to the far side at the ass end of nowhere.

Yup, if I catch who ever had the cahoneys to impersonate me with wet starkerbarks that leave a greenish brown residue, I'll be sure to blast 'em to the back of beyond the arse end of no place at all.  Anyone who dares to peel off a wet one because they have no sphincter control has no business whatsoever eating curried cabbage,,, much less dropping curried cabbage guffs.

It mightn't be treason exactly, but not far off.  In any event, it's sacrilege and is punishable by execution by starkerbark.

We've created a special stock for the perp guaranteed to withstand the most vilest starkerbark of all time. Unfortunately during the testing phase the stock was totally vaporized along with the test subject. What is not understood is that the new stock was made from ultra dense duranium hydramyelidenum. It should have worked. We didn't count on the exteme corrosive nature of the bark. The government shelled out $1.99 for the stuff. When they find out their money was wasted......

Typical of government... the cheapskate bastards.  Now if they'd gone with the better quality, $2.01 duranium hydramyelidenum, that wouldn't have happened... though I doubt the ultra starkerbark was responsible for disintegrating the stocks.  More likely it was all the politicians who had turned up to see what public monies were being spent on.... all that hot air and political guff is the probable cause, but no doubt starkerbarks will get the blame and there'll be all sorts of senate inquiries into whether or not they can ban curried cabbage... take it off the public menu.

Damned government... always interfering in stuff, but it'll be a cold day in Hell before I give up curried cabbage.

Disaster: Cabbage blight hits current worldwide crop.  6 billion breathe a sigh of relief.  Curry sales take a major downturn, ruining half of India's economy.  Conspiracy theorists believe it to be an Australian bio-weapon released only to inconvenience a certain person who shall remain nameless.

It won't inconvenience me none... I grow my own cabbages and they're immune to the current blight... he,he, because no self-respecting blight is gonna come around here with rampant barks being peeled off at regular intervals.

As for the downturn in curry powder sales, well I got no worries there, either,  Got a stockpile that'd last a couple of years or more, so I'm gonna be munching curried cabbage in spite of their bio-weapon.

So much for the best laid plans of mice and men, eh!

What him said.

Even if supplies of curry do dwindle there is an alternative...wait until the heat of the summer when the stench of all those sewers get nice and ripe. Bottle up the stench...freeze-dry it...pound it into crystal form and sprinkle it on your cabbage judiciously. Or jusr filter the water from the Ganges River. All that BO from so many taking baths in the water should do it.

Just cruisin' along lookin' for people. Even the crickets are silent. Armaggedon must've happened and I missed it. Boogers!