did you cheat in school?     (referencing the OP)

How'd you know I even went to school?

Cause I wasn't there too!

Forgot to put in a question.

Does a bear shit in the woods?

And if nobody is around to hear it kerplunk on the ground, does that mean it didn't make a crappy sound?

So you're admitting to playing hookey at the boys school because you thought there were better opportunities hanging around the girls school?

How'd you know???????

What, you didn't see me sneaking into the girls dormitory?

That was you??? I thought I saw movement in the shadows by Debbie's Dorm. Marigold was complaining that Debbie was getting all the action while she was getting zilch.

How do you know she was telling the truth and I wasn't into threesomes back then? 

Walls are as thin as tissue paper. you can hear every moan and groan and pant and wheeze and...???

Did it bother you that I was in there with Debbie and Marigold while you were  stuck in the broom closet with only Mrs Palmer and her five daughters for company???

Is anybody else around or am I in here playing silly buggers all by myself??

Wait just a durn minute. where's my post????? I responded to reply 3410 yesterday. What happened to it???

Call the cops. I been robbed Marigold and Debbie done it. I know they did all because I wouldn't let them watch the Master Blaster at work. They weren't taking the proper precautions. Gas masks ... that sort of thing.

I told Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters not to do it while the other room was rumbling aloud. Did you hear it?

Are you 100% sure that it wasn't snatched away by text-eating cyber zombies before it reached the page? 

The reason I ask is that Debbie and Marigold couldn't have done it... cos them wos busy acting in a new movie fer growed ups.

Hear it?  Course I bloody heard it... and so did the people 3 floors down.

So you're trying to tell me that all that bangin' and a slappin' wasn't you and Mrs Palmer and her five daughters partying on in the closet?

Nope... Debbie said she had to go do Dallas...again and Mrs. Palmer decided to run off with the janitor to the next closet which left her five daughters, Irma, Constance, Marigold, Ingrid and Tutu gobbling up all the chili cause they're having the annual Chili Cook-off today and those five wanted to get a head start. Me ... I'm heading for the hills because very soon the hazmat teams will be here to try and contain all the noxious emanations bound to clog up the air.

Um, I'm just curious here... do you realise who... er, what Mrs Palmer and her five daughters refers to? 

Lemme give you a clue!  It's like a contact sport only not as rough (well sometimes but not usually) and it involves one (sometimes both) of those things at the end of each arm.

I kinda caught the drift from the git go dude. I was trying to steer away from self gratificaton i.e. spanking the monkey sort of thing and or whacking off. Its also referred to as Mary and her five sisters. The Mrs. 'PALM'-er gave it away. Been here 57 years after all. now back to the subject at ... 'hand'.

Do you do it in the morning?

Do you do it in the afternoon?

Do you do it in the evening?

Or do you do it just to do it?

I knew that, but what the heck, I just wanted to add a bit more sass to the game with a bit of elaborative thinking.

So, is the subject at 'hand' something you're intimately familiar with or something you read about in a magazine you keep under the mattress?

As for me...

Is that in the morning after breakfast or in the wee hours before breakfast?  Anyway, that's a negatory.

Is that in the afternoon while the soapies are still on or in the afternoon just before the un goes down?  Nope!!

What do you mean by evening... the bit before night or the bit after afternoon tea?  Again, that's a nope!

Oh yeah... all the time, man, all the frickin' time.

Welcome to the normal world.

Mother to young Johnny ... "Johnny, you stop that right or you'll go blind".

Young Johnny to mother ... "Okay but can I do it until I need glasses. No bi-focals please and make them wide rimmed as mine eyeballs need all the seeing power they can get cause this is really hard work and dontcha know dad does it to the William Tell Overture?

Okay, I just need to know.  Do you enjoy spending your Sunday afternoons playing silly buggers or do you have some kind of manic obsession they have discovered a med for yet??

Mother to Little Johnny: "Johnny, stop that right now or you'll go blind!!!!"

Little Johnny to Mother: "It that why grandpa can hardly see me even when I'm stood right in front of him?"

(Oh, and I asked about playing silly buggers or a manic obsession because I might write a book about weird and wonderful lunatics I've had the very great pleasure of knowing.)

It's a pleasure just being able to do it with you and all the rest of the loonies here. Here I can relate in a very personal way thanks to you. Now ... um ... what was the question? Oh yeah.

Mother to Grandpa: "You stop teachin' that youngster these things or I'll have to cancel your subscription to Sky an Telescope".

Grandpa to Mother: "And deprive me of my only pleasure in life....... wait. There's goes Marigold in the, Oh my goodness..."

Mother to Grandpa: "What? Let me see. OHHH ... How she do that?"