The 6 BestT Smart Ass Answers of 2006
Thursday, January 4, 2007 by _02 | Discussion: Internet
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
S MART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
Bandit4edu
Reply #2 Thursday, January 4, 2007 3:17 PM 
all wonderful, but the SAAOTY '06 is perfect! As a teacher, I know that it's seldom you get the best of a smart alec student, and I can just see the aftermath of this particular incident!
Reply #2 Thursday, January 4, 2007 3:17 PM
all wonderful, but the SAAOTY '06 is perfect! As a teacher, I know that it's seldom you get the best of a smart alec student, and I can just see the aftermath of this particular incident!
teddybearcholla
Reply #3 Thursday, January 4, 2007 3:46 PM oh my!!! No. 4 , 2 and the saaoty'06!!!! Thank you Cindi!!!! ..now there is mountain dew all over my monitor!!!! 
Reply #3 Thursday, January 4, 2007 3:46 PM
oh my!!! No. 4 , 2 and the saaoty'06!!!! Thank you Cindi!!!! ..now there is mountain dew all over my monitor!!!! 
WOM
Reply #6 Thursday, January 4, 2007 8:34 PM
Reply #6 Thursday, January 4, 2007 8:34 PM
Damn, my jaw hurts from laughing so hard. # 3 was the best and # 2 next. 
starkers
Reply #9 Friday, January 5, 2007 5:26 AM
Mine's covered in Tetleys....as is my keyboard & mouse.
****note to self....in future, do NOT read funnies with a mouthful of tea****
Thanks for those, Cindi, I got a real good laugh out of them....particularly the one about the flight attendant and the flasher. It reminds me of a time when some guy flashed his family jewels at mrs starkers. Quick as as flash she snapped: "Now what ya go and do that for....putting me off pink jellybeans for the rest of me life like that! And to think they were my favorites, too!!"
Reply #9 Friday, January 5, 2007 5:26 AM
| ..now there is mountain dew all over my monitor!!!! |
Mine's covered in Tetleys....as is my keyboard & mouse.
****note to self....in future, do NOT read funnies with a mouthful of tea****
Thanks for those, Cindi, I got a real good laugh out of them....particularly the one about the flight attendant and the flasher. It reminds me of a time when some guy flashed his family jewels at mrs starkers. Quick as as flash she snapped: "Now what ya go and do that for....putting me off pink jellybeans for the rest of me life like that! And to think they were my favorites, too!!"
_02
Reply #10 Friday, January 5, 2007 5:19 PM
I can see her doing it too!! That is too funny.
Reply #10 Friday, January 5, 2007 5:19 PM
| Quick as as flash she snapped: |
I can see her doing it too!! That is too funny.
starkers
Reply #11 Saturday, January 6, 2007 5:41 AM
I was standing about 15 feet away at the time (which is probably why he thought she was alone), and I thought it was hilarious. The guy obviously thought he had something to boast about, but that gem of a comeback must've instantly deflated his overly-inflated ego cos he scurried away looking rather red faced and dejected.
Had I been quick enough at the time (and been able to keep a straight face), I'd have nabbed him and said: "Sir, police officer, and I'm arresting you for uttering and false pretences, gross misrepresentation and false advertising...oh, and public indecency for daring to show something most men would be ashamed to publicly display.
Reply #11 Saturday, January 6, 2007 5:41 AM
| I can see her doing it too!! |
I was standing about 15 feet away at the time (which is probably why he thought she was alone), and I thought it was hilarious. The guy obviously thought he had something to boast about, but that gem of a comeback must've instantly deflated his overly-inflated ego cos he scurried away looking rather red faced and dejected.
Had I been quick enough at the time (and been able to keep a straight face), I'd have nabbed him and said: "Sir, police officer, and I'm arresting you for uttering and false pretences, gross misrepresentation and false advertising...oh, and public indecency for daring to show something most men would be ashamed to publicly display.
XX
Reply #12 Saturday, January 6, 2007 7:24 AM
Reply #12 Saturday, January 6, 2007 7:24 AM
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
Good thing we evolved to have two arms.
Good thing we evolved to have two arms.
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Reply #1 Thursday, January 4, 2007 12:05 PM