Hi Barb

I go motor racing for a few days and everyone gets talking...

Doc doesn't shop... well not in the 'go to the store' sense.  Nah, he's too busy 'PhotoShoppin' for that and his fridge orders everything to be delivered... and then his robovac puts it all away.  Yup, very organised is our Doc.  The only thing he can't get his appliances to do for him is a toilet break... but when he's on the computer 'shopping' people he has his commode chair [which he somehow acquired while visiting one of his patients in hospital] for that.

And speaking of age... Doc is older than a fossilised fart.  Now ya know where the term 'old fart' comes from... and if ya ever get called one, blame Doc.

Yup, Doc is so old he could have been at a significant Bethlehem birth, but he was busy 'shopping' Herod and got there too late.  But that's the story of his life, always taking too long to get there.. unless you're referring to his bedroom prowess, or lack thereof.  You see, he so old that he hops into bed and falls asleep before anyone else gets there.

never mind, Doc, we still loves ya... and I do expect another 'shop' to add to my collection as a result of this bit o' tongue-in-cheek,

Now what's the appropriate saying here.... 'you're skating on thin ice'....hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn'... 'never piss off a woman holidng a wet kipper'... or all of the above?

In any event, Dave, it has been nice knowing ya, cos I've never met anyone yet who survived a decidedly deliberate 'donging' with a D9 bulldozer.

Comes at a bit of an inoppotune time, really!  I've got nothing to wear to the wake... and I'm not ironing my birthday suit to get the wrinkles out for anybody.

Nah, I think you should get down on your knees [that's if they still bend that far] and beg Christine for mercy.  I mean, you wouldn't want all the other old timers joining you cos I scared 'em to death wiv me unironed birthday suit, would yer.

Next time don't stay away so long Jafo.  After all, you aren't suppose to be having fun without us.

Starkers, that was hilarious!  Hum, wonder if Dave learned something.

Don't even give it a second thought about not being to come and see me at my wake. Your loss as it will be most likely the best I have looked in years. 

you will continue to see me. I have someone that is going to make a Windowblind from my picture. The entire startmenu will be made from my pic. 

So go take a walk right now you old fart as I can see how stuff you are looking just sitting there in front of the computer.

Probably not, he's stubborn that way.  I've been told that Dave only learns something if he thinks that he thought of it first... which probably explains why he doesn't know anything about not pissing off women armed with wet kippers and D9's

There's no "likely" about it.  You will never have looked better... and it'll be the 'stiffest' you've been in years, too. 

I still reckon Viagra should be priced so that it ain't just rich old farts who can get the wrinkles out.  They could sell it for a 20th of the going rate and still make a profit... and a hugeerer profit at that.  I know I'd buy a packet a week to make up for lost time... just hope Scarlett [my blow-up doll] is up for all that extra work after just sitting around for years... coming with me for the occasional bus ride now and then.  Mind you, she's a cheap feed at restaurants, and we've never had an argument...now that's a BONUS!!!!

Speaking of old and Viagra, it reminds me of my 93 y/o grandfather.  Hadn't seen him for a while so decided to pop 'round for a visit.  After a bit of conversation I ashed him: "How's yer sex life, grandfather?"

He answered: "Well I have sex every Friday night except in January."

"So why don't you have sex in January, grandfather?"

"That's when the bloke who lifts me on and off goes on holidays."

Anyway, I got better things to do than write a bunch of  crap to old farts who lose their teeth when they laugh too hard.... hmmm, somebody suggested I go fer a walk.

Oh, on a more serious note, does anyone know anything about Uvah, another old timer we haven't seen for a while?  Hopefully he's okay and just taking a sabbatical for a while.

Last I know it's been around 2 or 3 months when he reported his computer was stolen again. At that time he used someone else s computer to report so guess he doesn't have that available.

Would I disappoint you, now? [Hope you like trout you old pirate! Bahahaha!].

WOW Doc!  How funny and how appropriate for overall use.

The rule is, "If you haven't posted a pic, you're not allowed to 'shop' anyone." - which is after all, only fair. Well...that was the old rule, anyway.

Well, hate to say it, but I think snow topped the shop.  Sorry Doc.

I don't mind being beaten by Monty Python. 

You're such a good sport!  3 cheers for Doc.

And Snow, you're such a braggert (must be the blow to your head, oops).

Now just one second. Monty Python is one thing, but Stallone w/o music is quite another!

Take this, Snow!