Do Women really not Care if their Guy is FAT?

And My thoughts on Weight in general......

Saturday, November 27, 2004 by TasT | Discussion:

In recent weeks there has been much tado about the Idolization of skinny chicks, you know, the supermodel type.  Girls out there let it be known we don't want them!  they are interesting to look at but, that's about it. For one thing none of them have any breasts and most of us guys like for our girls to have breasts.  As far as it goes on the other end no we don't want overweight girls either.  Most of us want to see a normal hourglass figure.  A definite difference between the Chest, Waist and hips, if there isn't then get to work.  Eat right, and mix in some exercise of some sort ( this goes for the rail skinny chick too with emphasis on the eat right). Nuff said on that subject.

Now on to what bugs me and really should bug you girls too.  

In the circles I have to socialize ( if you can call it that) with I see too many FAT ( yes, I said FAT) guys with trophy wives or girlfriends. I understand that most of these guys either have truckloads of money or have the imminent potential to have it but, jeeez if your wife/Girlfriend is smokin' hot wouldn't you want to at least be presentable? What's worse is I see it even with regular people, big ol' fat guy with a hottie.  There's just something wrong with that.

Don't you girls put some kind of limits on what you'll put up with? And don't give me the "we love what's inside" trip, you have to be attracted to the guy's appearance first under normal circumstances. Aren't you worried about the guys health? That's my thing, I wouldn't ever date an overweight woman ( If I lost my wife for some reason) because it's just not attractive and I have seen the health problems it causes with my mother and my wife's relatives. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, loss of strength, loss of stamina, depression, diabetes, problems doing simple things such as walking, etc.........

WE have a "FAT" problem in the USA and we need to fix it not make it OK. If you are FAT you need to do something about whether you are male or female. And Girls you need to put some pressure on your men to at least stay at a healthy weight as determined by him and his doctor, not by some BMI index or height/weight chart. Being FAT is not OK and neither is being Rail Skinny. We all need to strive to be somewhere in between, a healthy weight.  Your life depends on it.

 

BTW I speak after being on both ends of the spectrum. I was way too skinny ( 5'6" and 120 pounds) a few years ago.  So, I started eating properly and was a regular at the gym.  Over 7 years I gained 50 or so healthy pounds. Then 2 years ago I stared back in school and didn't have time for everything, so the gym had to go.  I went from 175  pounds and healthy to 180 and FAT in a matter of about 18 months.  Since then I have squeezed in the time for kayaking and an elliptical trainer that I have and adjusted my diet for my current activity level. I'm now a fairly happy 150.  Though I can't wait for the next year of school to be over so I can get back to the gym......

I know this post kinda wonders here and there, but hey, the Blogs name is TasT's RANDOM Thoughts.

"
First Previous Page 1 of 3 Next Last
Texas Wahine
Reply #1 Saturday, November 27, 2004 7:41 PM
Like men, we women each have our own personal tastes. However, we are not nearly as hung up on appearances as you guys are. We are much, much more likely to look past a bad body and find the endearing, loveable man inside.

Yes, health is important, but size is not always the best indicator of health and fitness. We should all focus on eating well and getting plenty of exercise regardless of whether we intend to gain weight, lose weight, or maintain our weight.

My personal preference for a guy is this: I like men who are big and tall. My husband is 6' and weighs about 215 or so. He's strong and muscular, which I like, but he is also nice and cuddly, too. He has a perfect little belly (hint, a lot of women find a small belly on a man to be sexy), too. He is fit and healthy, but he is not a slave to his physical appearance, and that is appealing. I like feeling small standing beside him. That's what's attractive to me.

Oh, and I forgot -- you asked if there's a limit to what we would put up with. I would never leave my husband because of his physical appearance. His weight could go way up or way down, and he would still be the man I love. I might find myself less physically attracted to him were he to lose 50 pounds or gain a hundred, but he's still my man.
Slovenly dress and uncleanliness is far more off-putting to me than weight when it comes to the average guy you see in the store or at the gas station, btw.
Shovelheat
Reply #2 Saturday, November 27, 2004 7:47 PM
I think being true and honest is a positive healthy attribute. To be yourself with acceptance is miles better than to fit into somebody else's "ideal". With me, to quote Tina Turner (yes, as I have before) to get, is what you see...
TasT
Reply #3 Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:40 PM
We are much, much more likely to look past a bad body and find the endearing, loveable man inside.


Come on TW, First I said that I ddin't want to hear that BS. Yes I know it's true, but women are not attracted to a man to begin with if he's 150 pounds overwieght and won't get to know his lovable side.

Slovenly dress and uncleanliness is far more off-putting to me than weight when it comes to the average guy you see in the store or at the gas station


Agreed, same for the women.

To be yourself with acceptance is miles better than to fit into somebody else's "ideal".


That is true. However being true and honest and accepting yourself as 100+ punds over weight or 25% under weight for your body type is a danger to your health. Being True and Homest would be, Hey I need to work on loosing/gaining some weight here so that my health won't be in danger.
dharmagrl
Reply #4 Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:46 PM

To be totally truthful....I can't dig fat guys. I've been friends, really good friends with a lot of big dudes, but as far as physical attraction....I just can't.  I have tried, really I have, but it's just not there. 


As for the unwashed.....well, I'll write a blog about that this evening.  I had an encounter this afternoon that wasn't very pleasant....

TasT
Reply #5 Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:49 PM
I had an encounter this afternoon that wasn't very pleasant....


I'm sorry to hear that Dharma and thanks for your honesty on the "Big" Guys...
Texas Wahine
Reply #6 Saturday, November 27, 2004 9:08 PM
Come on TW, First I said that I ddin't want to hear that BS. Yes I know it's true, but women are not attracted to a man to begin with if he's 150 pounds overwieght and won't get to know his lovable side.


TasT, I like you guy, but today is not a good day to accuse me of BSing. I'm giving you the truth from my point of view. Sorry it doesn't fit into your box.
TasT
Reply #7 Saturday, November 27, 2004 9:20 PM
TasT, I like you guy, but today is not a good day to accuse me of BSing. I'm giving you the truth from my point of view.


WHoa TW,
Didn't mean to upset ya, I apologize. I ment no angry tone. If your upset with me try saying it with a lighthearted bouncy rhythm. You are the last person that I'd want to tick off, well maybe that's a little white lie, my wife tops that list!

I just knew that I would get that comment that why I put an equivelant in the article.

On that subject though are you really saying that when you were single that if a 300 lb guy had asked you out that you would have went, so that you could find his worm and loving inside?
Texas Wahine
Reply #8 Saturday, November 27, 2004 9:25 PM
On that subject though are you really saying that when you were single that if a 300 lb guy had asked you out that you would have went, so that you could find his worm and loving inside?


Maybe.

I'm not saying that weight is not a factor at all . . . what I'm getting at is that in general, a woman is going to be more likely to accept a date from a 300 lb guy than a guy is to ask out a 300 lb. woman. Not all women are this way, but in general we are. We are far less hung up on appearances when it comes to looking for a potential date or mate.

Of course, I have family members who are very large, so I am quite OK with larger people myself.
Texas Wahine
Reply #9 Saturday, November 27, 2004 9:27 PM
WHoa TW,
Didn't mean to upset ya, I apologize. I ment no angry tone.


It's OK. I'm just having a rough day, and am a bit sensitive.
TasT
Reply #10 Saturday, November 27, 2004 9:33 PM
It's OK. I'm just having a rough day, and am a bit sensitive.


That's a relief. I don't mind upsetting people in a political forum, but this is just supposed to be fun sharing thoughts and opinions.
InBloom
Reply #11 Saturday, November 27, 2004 10:31 PM
My boyfriend is overweight...and Yes, I would love for him to shed pounds...mostly because I want him around many, many years, and I think he needs to watch what he eats...and gosh..he has tried to...I think he just needs to get more disciplined at it (and well, heck..I do, too).

Although he does not have a "buff" bod or six pack abs...he has so much more going for him...I love the way he makes me laugh, love all the knowledge he shares with me...love the way his arms feel around me, love his open mindedness and his big smile and dimples, and his affectionate, romantic, silly ways...by some standards, I am not thin myself...and he accepts me that way I am.

Before him, I have to admit that I would have never pictured myself with an overweight man....but I fell in love, am with him..and although our love isn't perfect, he makes me happy....No BS...
MarcieMoo
Reply #12 Saturday, November 27, 2004 10:46 PM
America does have a "FAT" problem as you say. But...there are some people who are not able to lose or maintain weight because their body is just...built that way. I've always been chubby. I'm 5'6"...and I've always been on the big side. I tend to be a stress eater and have a hard time controlling my emotions, so that's part of my weight issue, but another part is a diagnosed hormone imbalance. I can't explain the particulars, but my body doesn't make enough estrogen, and that in turn affects my production of testosterone (sorry...no chest hair), as well as the production of insulin. Basically...what it comes down to is I'd have to eat basically nothing, work out 15 hours a day, and not live.

I do, however, have to lose about 75 lbs. before my dr. says it will be fairly easy for me to get pregnant...which is a big concern for me because I do wish to have a family...and so does the husband-to-be. And...I'm working on it...

Instead of pretty much assuming that all overweight people are just lazy and sit and gorge themselves all day and expect tax dollars to take care of us...if it's *THAT* much a problem have to look at us and inconvenience to have to "deal" with us, why don't you invite someone who is overweight to get active with you...to go take a walk, play a game of flag football with the guys, or go to the gym with you? It makes me want to do LESS about it when people keep telling me how ugly I am because I'm overweight...I know I am...and I'm working on it. It takes time. But people put you down long enough and you start to believe it.
TasT
Reply #13 Saturday, November 27, 2004 10:53 PM
InBloom:

I'm very happy for you and I'm glad that you are concerned for his health, that is the main problem with excess weight( or being under weight)
TasT
Reply #14 Saturday, November 27, 2004 11:04 PM
Marcie :
I'm working on it. It takes time.


Yes it does even for the person in good health. Weight loss or gain has to be done gradually. I wish you the best of luck!

I'm not trying to pick on the people that have health problems that cause it. 99% of Americans don't have a problem that keeps them from losing weight though, they are as you said lazy or don't pay attention to what they eat. I wouldn't say gorge themselves though. You can eat what we call normal meals for the day, in normal portions and still gain weight. That's what got me when I started school. I had to adjust the amount of sugars and breads that I was eating. While good for me when I worked out 4 times a week, they were packing on the fat with no workout.
MarcieMoo
Reply #15 Saturday, November 27, 2004 11:31 PM
Maybe you should get a 30-second tv spot and be a savior to fat people everywhere!

I think most overweight people have emotional problems...and they stress-eat like I do. And it doesn't help that we have people looking down on us and putting us down because we ARE overweight...on the other hand, we don't want to be pitied either. Most overweight people have no idea what the hell a carbohydrate even is...let alone how it can add weight to them...I mean...the current food pyramid suggests up to ELEVEN servings a day...

What I'm saying is...don't preach, and don't make decisions about fat people before you even know the story. There's usually alot more going on there than you would suspect. Overeating isn't always black and white...there's lots of grey involved.
iamheather
Reply #16 Sunday, November 28, 2004 1:05 AM
I enjoyed the article TasT, as well as the comments. I think the break down occurs after marriage or a long term relationship. I was thinner when my husband and I dated; so was he. We had children, and we gained weight. We still each have the same basic body structure, but with a few added pounds. We both work out religiously, but let's face it, we will never look like we did when we were dating. Both our waists have a couple of extra inches.

In answer to your question...Do women really not care if their guy is fat? We care...we care so much for our man that we will encourage and support them through everything, whether it be weight that is unhealthy, smoking that is unhealthy, an addiction that is unhealthy....but we usually will not leave them.

Just my humble opinion.
Mercedes de Ranter
Reply #17 Sunday, November 28, 2004 1:50 AM
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe...
Damn first thing I thought as I saw this tilte.
That hour glass figure you like so much is a recent invention what was the prior term; rebenesque (check out those chicks... big wastes, chestes and hips (better for the kid to slide through) that was the preference back in the day.
I'm a guy; but a point on being too skinny does exist way to big a turn off as well as being way too big. I'm thinking that goes for both guys and girls unless the person happens to either have money, potiential to have it as some have mentioned, or have connections someone might want or if your waiting for the guy to literally eat himself to death so you women can collect. Sad enough we die prematurely now we have to die a little quicker

hhahahahhahahahah
ANyways, back to that hourglass figure and why I mentioned rubenesque: u.s. and other societies are all getting fatter so hour glass is going away plus that "normal" hourglass figure was never actually normal dude not in our lifetime that's just a tv image most people are that ugly /this in no way is supposed to be an insult/ beautiful people are the freaks. everyone else falls in between beautiful and my god what the F..k is that. ie ugly or plain. I prefer to consider myself....................
TasT
Reply #18 Sunday, November 28, 2004 6:38 AM
Marcie
Maybe you should get a 30-second tv spot and be a savior to fat people everywhere!


JU is my 30 sec. spot

What I'm saying is...don't preach, and don't make decisions about fat people before you even know the story. There's usually alot more going on there than you would suspect. Overeating isn't always black and white...there's lots of grey involved.


There is alot of grey involved in how I do my taxes too. but at the end of the year I have to be honest or the IRS pays me a visit. I in the context of weight the IRS won't get you but the Grim Reaper will. bottom line is, If you are not at a proper weight for your frame you know it and there is no excuse for not doing something about it. You can blame emotional problems but that's just a cover up. The only excuse I can see is medical problems and even then you should consult your doctor and a dietician. They can help.

Heather:
I think the break down occurs after marriage or a long term relationship.

I see that often. BTW are you feeling better?


We care...we care so much for our man that we will encourage and support them through everything, whether it be weight that is unhealthy, smoking that is unhealthy, an addiction that is unhealthy....but we usually will not leave them.


That's good to hear, some of you girls are really dedicated and your men are very lucky.

Mercedes:
that "normal" hourglass figure was never actually normal dude not in our lifetime that's just a tv image most people are that ugly /this in no way is supposed to be an insult/ beautiful people are the freaks. everyone else falls in between beautiful and my god what the F..k is that. ie ugly or plain.


Dude I'm not talking about the TV image, I'm talking about a girl with a chest and hips with a real waist inbetween. The rail skinny chicks don't have it and neither do the overweight girls. And yes, I believe it is normal.

I went to a local bar and grill last night and just watched people. All but a couple of the guys were overweight to some extent, the majority of the Women were "Normal" ( had a chest, waist and hips). There was one freakishly skinny girl and one lady with a freakishly large pair of tits (and I do mean freakishly large) they were single and neither was getting very much attention. It still amazes me that most of these normal girls were with big guys, not obese just big.
moderateman
Reply #19 Sunday, November 28, 2004 11:01 AM
Reply By: Texas Wahine Posted: Saturday, November 27, 2004
Like men, we women each have our own personal tastes. However, we are not nearly as hung up on appearances as you guys are. We are much, much more

Nothing like a overall generalization to make a fella feel good , that would be like me saying the females of the world just want security so they marry someone well off no matter how the man looks. get it>?
iamheather
Reply #20 Sunday, November 28, 2004 3:08 PM
BTW are you feeling better?


Actually, I am not, but I am so stubborn and antsy. I cannot stand sitting in that bed one second longer. Zombie let me move to the computer chair for limited segments of time. I still cannot move my neck which is still incredibly swollen.

Thank you so much for asking and caring, though!

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